Marcia - the girl who lives in me.

Marcia is the kind of girl who is totally unapologetic about voicing what floats around in her fluffy brain. Words such as “bitch” and “fuck” are prominent features of her vocabulary. She is not scared to tell you go away when you start to annoy her. In most cases her irritation will be caused by your bad hair day, your chipped nails AND your hot mess outfit.

A girl with no makeup is beyond her understanding. Anyone in grasshoppers can forget about getting a second look from her.

Marcia lives in me. Sometimes she manifests at very odd times. Her presence is mostly felt in public transport and too many times before, she has got me in a lot of trouble.

A bucket list of 100 things to do before I die

BFFs Part II

Gosh! I just remembered that I promised that I’d give you a low down on the dynamics of my friendship with Wanda and Randy. You must have turned to mould from all the waiting right?

Ours is the kind of friendship that was planned long before our birth. The way we connect, understand each other and stick out for one another is just amazing – totally beyond words!

I met Wanda seven years ago while I was still in high school. My first impression of him was that he is stuck up and a bit of a nerd. He was always so reserved and walking on his own. Till this day, I still cringe when I think of how much I misperceived him!

Wanda is the most welcoming, selfless and loving human being that has ever entered my zone. I initially had a crush on him. I am always interested in the mysterious types – I have an irresistible urge to uncover the unknown on a first hand basis.

Thank goodness my quest to make him my boyfriend did not succeed! Today Wanda and I share something that no power couple could ever achieve; unconditional love coupled with tremendous care for each other that is almost brother-to-bother like. Sometimes I firmly believe that he is the brother that my mother secretly gave up for adoption.

Not a million words can ever express how much I am grateful to have him as a part of my life. He has been with me during the most trying times of my life, helped me through them and celebrated my successes with me.

Wanda & I

 Then there is Randy, whom I met three years ago through Wanda. A sweet soul hailing from East London on the Eastern Cape, Randy is the kind of a friend that would do absolutely anything to ensure a smile on my face. I have never met such a caring person in my life (my mother is an exception, of course).

I thank God and Wanda’s ex boyfriend for bringing Randy to my life! Randy came to Cape Town in search for a better job. The fact that he had been in a long distance relationship with Wanda’s ex boyfriend’s best friend was a bonus. Finally, he would get to live closer to his long time sweetheart.

Unfortunately, things did not work out and he found comfort in mine and Wanda’s arms, which he would later return with so much love, appreciation and extreme loyalty.

Quite honestly, I cannot begin to imagine my life without these two amazing friends. How we get along is amazing even to me.  A complete retard can tell at first glance how different we are from each other from the way each of us dresses to the kind of music we each enjoy. However, we have this amazing ability to fuse our differences together to form this wonderful friendship that nothing on this earth can compare to.

Randy & I

I will forever be grateful to God for blessing me with such beautiful friends.

My BIG fat dream...

I own Mary Kate Olsen’s entire wardrobe, I have a head full of unruly curly hair and I am cheating on my husband, Zakes Bantwini with Kanye West.

I don’t have a real job; I make a living from partying – people, organisations and governmental departments pay me really good money to make an appearance at their parties. I shop from all the top boutiques to kill time and on my free time; I get my facials nails done at Elixir Spar.

......

Well that’s just a fantasy I like to absorb myself in when the reality sucks, which is every other second day. But really, my big fat dream is my online retail store fully fledged with customers all over the country (or, makes that the world). I no longer regret having spent four years of my life studying for a qualification in a field that I am not entirely passionate about. I also do not really care that I spent another four years trying to carve a career in the same field.

All those years, have prepared me for my ultimate destination; fashion. Not only do I own this highly successful store, I also do publicity and media relation for fashion brands on a consulting basis.

I am married to the love of my life, we have a Chihuahua and will live happily ever after!

Hey lovers! Please excuse the silence :)

No. I did not die. I haven’t lost my passion for blogging and I have not been suffering from a two months long writer's block.

The reason for my absence from the blogosphere has been my challenging job and my equally demanding studies. However, I am extremely happy to announce that next week, I will be submitting my thesis, meaning an end to my studies! Phew! That’s if I pass all the gruelling courses.

So yeah, I will have more time to do thing that I actually enjoy; blogging, youtubing, tweeting, facebooking and all things online!

Conventional is a good fallback position, isn’t it?

Sometimes he wears a turban, accentuates his soft features with ethnic jewelry. His feminine figure is best defined in his skinny jeans. With his nerdy glasses and scruffy beard it creates somewhat an unusual look.   The one that attracts puzzled stares and amused giggles.  As he applies his eyeliner, he is convinced it’s going to be a good day.

A day lined with judgmental whispers, hurting remarks, disgusted glances and angry curses – it’s still a good day. At least he managed to keep his smile intact.

He could have avoided the unfortunate reality by confirming to its demands. He could have bought their acceptance by living the definition of the norm.

After all, conventional is a good fallback position, isn’t it?

Why is it normal for girls to wrap their head is doeks and line their eyes?

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time

This is one of the topics I have been assigned to post on as part of my Media Studies course. Again, I disagree. So I will not waste my time and Google stories that contradict with pursuing two goals at the same time.

We all know that this is possible. In fact almost everyone in my class is a living proof of that. I mean, as part time students, we are all working toward obtaining a qualification to advance our education while ensuring that our careers are on point at the same time.

Though they are closely aligned, these are two different goals. Right?

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it once broken but the cracks remain on reflection.

I have not been around this world long enough to dub myself an expert in relationship matters. However, I do believe that I have gained more than enough experience to know that trust and transparency are key to successful unions, be it with friends or spouses. 

Through all the relationships that I have been (and still) a part of I have learnt that the only thing that kept me around is my trust for that certain individual. Some relationship ended badly and the root of the split was always the violation of my trust.

spellscasting.blogspot.com

I’ve had to let go of friends because I could no longer trust them due to their choices in life. Some of them had to face the exit because they betrayed their loyalty by simply not living up to their promises. Once I was in a relationship with someone that I thought I could trust with my life. I bared my soul to him. Okay, maybe not really my soul but I invested so much faith in him that I decided to over look his flaws, a lot of them.

The revelation of his monkey business did not really come as a surprise, the signs were always visible. But I had taught myself to trust him. Even after he betrayed me, I thought I could still make it work so I stuck around. Because the traces of the mess he had created could not be easily erased, the relationship snowballed to a sticky, never ending muddle of accusations, fights and tears. Eventually, I had to let go.

Lady Gaga once said, “Trust is like a mirror, you can try to fix it once broken. But you will always see the cracks on your reflection.” Or was it Beyonce? Whatever! But that statement is true in every respect. Trust is the most precious and most sensitive possession. It requires tender care and utmost attention.

Once someone crushes your trust, it is very difficult, almost impossible to regain it. You always second guess them, question the silliest things and keep them under a ridiculously watchful eye. That’s not healthy; it only clots your happiness. You’re always wondering what they are getting up to on your absence and you constantly feel the need to be updated on their comings and goings. That’s the worst space to be in, for anyone.

An unfortunate fact is that the only way to exit that space is by cutting the ties with that person. This is according to my experience.

"Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea" (Alain)

Two years ago I took a really brave decision. Perhaps brave is not the correct word; when I look back to it now, I think I might have been possessed by demons. No, that does not explain it too. Maybe I suffered from a minor mental condition?

 Let me tell you the story then you can diagnose my ‘illness’.

At the beginning of 2010, I quit my job as an Accounts Executive of a PR company. The job was stressful but very fulfilling, the money was good and the projects were exciting, at least most of them.

So why did I leave?

One day while travelling from home from work, an intriguing thought popped into my mind. “If you can formulate, plan, execute and evaluate PR/communications strategies successfully to generate money for someone’s business, why can’t you do that for your own consultancy?” the small voice asked.  

By the time I got home my head was spinning! I had this grand vision of myself running my own successful PR consultancy with some really stunning clients and making tons and heaps of money. I managed to convince myself that I could do it. I mean, I had the skills, the qualification and my TWO years experience *shrieks*.

So why what could possibly stop me?

Two months later: I had resigned, registered my company, and developed the brand complete with my website, business cards and all! This was all done in a really amazing rush of excitement coupled with my die hard ambition. Now I was set and ready to take the PR industry by storm.

((BOOM))

By the time I realised that I had been driven by a single idea, my bank account was nonexistent and depression had made a home in my mind. I realised that I had been absorbed in my golden idea of starting my own business but I had absolutely no idea how I would make it work! I had no clue where to begin in recruiting clients.

After that realisation, I spent about almost a year of my life accepting rejection of employers, crying myself to sleep and financially dependent on family and friends. So far, that has been the toughest phase of my life. Hey, at some point I even contacted my previous employers and begged them to take me back.

But like they say, we learn through living. Now I am glad to say from that experience I have learnt that nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea.

BFFs

Allow me to introduce to you two of the four men that matter the most in my life - my best friends (pictured with me above) Wanda & Randy. Randy is the tall one and Wanda is the dark one. See? One of the reasons I adore them is that they are easy to describe.

Their descriptions go beyond their physical appearance though. These two guys are the real definition of unconditional love and true friendship. Through them, I have learnt most of this life's important lessons; that is to be comfortable in my own skin, to be patient (though that remains a weakness) and to be content with what I have.

With more than 8 years of being together and still going strong, I think I can safely say that our friendship has stood the test of time!

The dynamics of this friendship are thrilling enough to be a separate post, so stay tuned.

And oh, the other two men who matter the most are my one and only brother and my boyfriend ;)

My Summer Look

YES* I found one more reason to look forward to summer - to rock the look above! The other two reasons are to wear slops to work and to wearing speedos for the first time (yes, I have been preparing my body baby!)

Anyways, I came accross this picture of  the world's highest paid male model, Baptiste Giabiconi, when I was having one of my Perve Moments on the internet (figure it out). My hear raced and my palms started sweating and suprisingly that reaction was not caused by this man's dangerous sex appeal but his out fit on this picture!

This is what I have been looking for - a look to abuse! So that's it, I am getting myself all kinds of denim extra short shorts and over sizes checked shirts that I can find. This will be my everyday look...almost!

However, I am no stranger to short shorts....

I guess no one really embraced this look when I was gaga over it, uhm, two years ago. I also guess you can call me, erm, fashion forward? LOL! 

Have you figured out the second head fake?

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Some time ago, before I realised the importance of staying true to myself, I was caught up in the idea of being popular. You know, like an “IT fag”; the one that dons the most expensive clothes, has the most advanced smart phone, an ultra-hot boyfriend (or shag mate) and most importantly tons and heaps of cool friends.

So I made it a mission to obtain that status but it proved to be a bit of a challenge. The clothes, the cell phones and the boyfriend/shag mate were concealed by my financial constraints. Yes, in the Cape Town gay scene, a lot of boys are up for sale (believe it or not). They don’t come cheap...

However, making a ridiculously lot of friends was easy peasy! All I had to do was to put on a Model C accent, be updated on the current Beyonce or Lady Gaga scoop, own a packet of cigarettes and wear clothes that previously belonged to old white women when they were still alive. That made me relevant and I made dozens of cool “friends”. Only much later would I learn how loosely the term “friends” is used – or rather misused?

Being the genuine person that I am, I poured my being into these friendships. See, not only did I discuss my crushes and weekend plans with my “friends” but I also shared with them my true sentiments, aspirations and some really personal stuff.

Biggest mistake ever!

My newly found popularity came to an abrupt end as my friends started developing second heads. And no, I’m not going all sci-fi on you right now. I saw it with my own eyes, and I wear glasses so I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure which one was most astonishing; the revelation of the second head or figuring out that the first one is actually fake!

Not only did it turn out that some of my “friends” carried replicated Louis Vuitton sling bags, I found out that they also displayed faux personalities. All it took to realise that was a manifestation of my true self. My objection on reckless living, having fun AKA sleeping around and gossiping drove my “friends” away.

So out went my popularity and the labels started flocking in. At some point I was “Goody 2 Shoes” then I was a “Blonde White Bitch” before I finally became a “Slut on the Sly”. The origin of these striking titles is still unknown to me.  

I am...

In a connected world where trends and gadgets have crippled people’s sense of individualism, I AM on a mission to claim my peculiarity. I am not ready to let societal opinions and norms determine my way of doing things but I AM prepared to be a deviation. I AM a free spirit and I will continue exploring my capabilities to the best of my ability.

Amongst my peers, I AM the one that is not going to take the easy way out. I AM equipped with intelligence to tackle all the challenges that may arise along the way to success.  I have drive and ambition and I AM going to see the realisation of my dreams.

In my community, I AM going to make a difference. I aim to be the inspiration of the upcoming generations. Achieving that aim requires tremendous focus and hard work and I AM determined to abide. I AM not afraid to face the harsh realities of following my dream but I fear failure.

In myself, I AM a firm believer. I feed my brain with knowledge as I go along so to broaden my horizons. I go with an open mind and I AM open to suggestions and advise of those wiser than I AM.

I am…

Siya Mahomba

Our backgrounds are not the determinants of our future

My previuos post on the Affirmative Action received some really interesting response. Some people fairly agreed with me but a lot of people were quite hurt and angered by my sentiments. I have always known that we are a bit of a dysfunctional society, but I was not aware of the amount of anger we carry with us as a result of our past.

One comment that stood out for me was from one reader who assumed that my view on our economic state and our political system might be influenced by my age and  background.

He felt that I am too young to be discussing state issues such as the Affirmative Action. He also presumed that I come from a well off family, therefore I am not affected by the harsh realities of our country hence my deviating opinions on Affirmative Action. My response to both these allegations? This man is completely wrong.

Though I felt his antagonism as an unemployed young South African, I dismally failed to understand how he came to his conclusion.

Of course I tried to gain some understanding by asking him but my attempt was only met with silence. This incident brought back to my mind an issue that I have been meaning to address for sometime. In my opinion, our backgrounds are really not the determinants of our future. Therefore, I don’t see why we should refer to them when we seek a way forward.

However, I fully aggree that one’s past can be a powerful tool to use in carving a better future. Please allow me to make use of my own experince as an example. I was raised by a single mother together with my three siblings in a tiny 3 roomed shack and later a warm house that we are all proud of. My upbringing was not at all glits and glam. My mother’s hardwork, which ultimately saw me to my current state of life kept me and my siblings above the water. So there you have it; I do not come from a well off family.

I could have chosen to blame the government for my lack of access to all the basics I needed to get by like some of my peers did. I could have been rebelious against the public education that I received and dropped out of school. I could have refused to work hard while other children from other races received all their wishes on a silver platter.

But I did’nt.

It did not make sense  to expect some legislations to see me through life. Their mere existance were an an encouragement enough for me to get up and claim a comfortable life for myself. I did not see how my complaints about the past that I was not even a part of would ensure me a bright future. So  just like my mother, I resorted to hardwork to see me through life. And let me tell you, it worked like a charm.  

Andy Warhol said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?

Warhol’s prophecy has been realised in a million ways recently. Think back to the recent racism outbreaks on the social media space.

Now, can you remember all these incidents in detail? Can you recall the names of the perpetrators? No blame on you if you can’t – their fiften minutes of world wide fame are, well, over.

A Gay Movement with a twist

Pic source: kyivpost.com

Recently, I had a very interesting conversation with a long time friend of mine. He was telling me about some of the really “weird” situations that he has been encountering since he stepped out of the closet.

Prior to taking this brave decision, he was worried about the negative perceptions that his community would have on him and all the rejection that he would have to face.



But to his (and partly mine) surprise, his coming out has rather been a platform for a lot of people to express their not-so-negative sentiments on homosexuality!

He even got a few guys confessing their undying love for him. The response got so overwhelming to him that he is considering becoming some sort of an activist so he can encourage other closeted homosexuals to live their lives openly. Well, let’s just say my friend tends to be a bit too enthusiastic sometimes.

As I listened to him going on about his newly found vision to let it known to the gay nation that the world is not such a harsh place, I thought it would not be a bad idea for me to also embark on a similar endeavour. However, I have no interest convincing gay people that our society is not such a mean bunch – I have already told them the opposite, which, in all respect, is true.

My activism would be against gay people. Yes, I would like to fight all the negativity amongst gay people. It is my utmost desire for all gay people to stop living up to the society’s expectations; for them to stop proving the truth in some of the stereotypes out there. There is a widespread belief that gay people are promiscuous and sadly, quite a lot of them are.

Try flipping through a gay magazine and all you’ll see are pictures of half naked men in seductive poses and ridiculously sexualised articles. Attend one of their events and you will sure to find them parading around practically naked and displaying pornographic public affection. I know a lot of them will hate me for putting this out and call me a traitor but truth has to be told.

I have a few gay acquaintances who have admitted to being most passionate about sex. And let me tell you, they do feed their passion – thoroughly.

So the Gay Rights Activist in me will not fight for the recognition and acceptance of gay people in society. There are already a lot of people pursuing that farfetched quest. Shout out to them. Instead, I want to urge my fellow gays to ease up on the sex craze.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not generalising. We do have some good gays out there. I, of course, am one of them.

A skill set called leadership

I am not shy to admit that I have always been quite a forward person. I like taking initiative, taking charge and ensuring that tasks are completed on time and with utmost efficiency. I am a firm believer of the old phrase, “If you want something to be done perfectly, do it yourself”.

I am guessing this is the trait that led to me being recently elected as the team leader for one of my varsity big projects. For the project, I and my class mates are required to plan and organise a posh Gala Dinner as a token of appreciation to a group of students representing the university on an international motorsport event.  If you ask me, this is quite a big deal!

Prior to accepting this responsibility, I have never really considered myself as a leader. To be quite honest I absolutely had no idea what a strain it would be. My idea of a good leader has always been someone who makes sure that everything is completed on time. I never thought about the tactics to use in order to make sure of that.

So as I have learnt from my experience, these are the set of skills required for good leadership:

·         An amazing ability to make convincing threats,

·         Veeeery high tolerance of nonsense,

·         Willingness to accept responsibility for other people’s faults,

·         A sharp voice to shout (you do that quite a lot),

·         A semi permanent fake smile,

·         And most importantly, willingness to do the work when someone simply refuses to do it.

*sigh*

But I am a lucky leader; I have such an amazing team! Sometimes I do not have to implement all of the above mentioned set of skillsJ.

Getting your foreskin chopped off will not make you a man. Actually, it might kill you!

This year’s traditional manhood initiation season, has seen shocking numbers of deaths as a result of botched circumcisions. But what’s new? This is almost like an arranged annual massacre whose victims are naive but proud volunteers driven by dim societal pressures. For an epidemic as hostile as this one, you would expect a lot of education around it, but still some matters related to it are treated like a top state secret.

We all know that through initiation, boys are supposed to be taught good principles of manhood, but can we all agree that this objective is often met? I mean a lot of our criminals, runaway daddies and drug users are, in fact, men. That is not an official statistic, but I have seen them. I know they are men because they have missing foreskins. Not that I have seen their penises, but once in their lives they wore khakis and carried sticks wherever they went. This was after they had been gone for a few days to claim their manhood.

Source: fubustyle.blogspot.com

Call me deluded but my interpretation of a man is that of a Xhosa child brought up in a culture respecting household. However, the repercussions (if I can safely call it that) of this tradition – death and foul behaviour - are driving me up the wall! I am sick and tired of having to tip toe around the traditional circumcision ritual issue.

To this day, I am still in the dark as to what really goes on at initiation schools besides the actual circumcision. That is a result of my elders’ choice to keep mum about these details despite my tireless attempts to find out. Being the inquisitive creature that I am, I have never been comfortable with basing my knowledge solely on hearsay. So I have conducted a few informal interviews with some friends that have been through initiation but all they have been able to provide is limited information, which I can sum up as, well, stupid.

In the modern day, what really is the point of traditional manhood initiation? It definitely can’t still be a measly attempt to instil good morality in young men. We all know that takes years of good parenting, not a few days of lectures and getting one’s foreskin cut.

You see, we as humans, were not lucky enough to be blessed with a mind that complies from a single instruction. Unfortunately, losing a piece of our skin does not change our outlook to life either. Instead, it has a potential of killing us, as we have seen on the recent news reports.

Don't I look right at home behind the lens?

“Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk for people who can’t read” - Frank Zappa

This must be one of the funniest and equally confusing quotes ever! Whoever this Frank dude is  clearly has a bit of some hate for music critics.

Affirmative Action - a politically accepted form of discrimination

In the years of democracy, the social patterns on discrimination with access to education, employment and economic wealth, predominantly in the public sector, remain intact. The only difference in that now the tables has been turned around. 

Affirmative Action is supposed to be a programme designed to end the unfair balances in the public sector, but is it not justifying racism by its own actions? Its policies judge people solely on skin colour and gender; that’s discrimination in its self. 

Discrimination can’t be a remedy for imbalances caused by our past. No programme can be considered as good when it hurts others. Affirmative Action strives to help minorities and women to be recognised more in the public sector, but in the process reverse discrimination has taken place. 

For that reason, Affirmative Action shows ineffectiveness in the public sector because the aim of this sector is to cater for the entire public, not a certain group of people within the public. 

This cannot be an affirmative programme if there is a form of discrimination involved. Instead of choosing a candidate for a job or for school admission based on their skin colour or gender, only their capabilities and qualifications should be taken into consideration.

Why should some people get special preferences over others? It is just not correct. There should be no special treatments and no special preferences given to certain individuals. Everyone has an opportunity to advance in this country; you just have to take the initiative.

Yes, this comes from a young black professional from a "previously" disadvantaged background  

A very Gaga Thanks Giving

Totally love this!

My top 200 achievements

As you might know, I am also running this blog as part of the requiremets to obtain my BTech Degree in Public Relations Management. On one of the courses, Media Studies, we are required to create a prominent online presence, which of course includes establishing and maintaining a good blog (surprise!).

We are given veeeeery random topics to blog on every week. Fortunately we also have absolute freedom to be creative around those topics and interprete them in anyway we deem suitable . This week, we were given this topic: My top 200 achievements.

No! I’m being for real!

I accepted this with a mega sigh and a dramatic panic attack; the first thing I thought about was that I will have to make a list! I H.A.T.E lists!!!

I just had to find an excuse to get out of this rather dreadful task, not that I am not proud of my achievements and not dying to make a brag list. So after a long while of thinking, I did not find a an excuse to dogde this, but I found one good reason!

My Media Studies, Marian Pike, always encourages us to not always stick by the rules but find ways to stick out while maintaining good standards. So this week I am doing just that! I will not list my top 200 top achievements. After all, my entire being sums up all that I have achieved; I have lived and I continue doing so.  

What motivates me...

10 most unexpected consequences of being online

1.       Discovering that you actually have a crush on Pete Doherty.

2.       Forgetting the pressures of the reality.

3.       Realising how much you enjoy typing.

4.       Getting an ear ache and an eye irritation from watching Nicki Minaj’s Stupid Hoe music video 20 times in a row.

5.       Learning that the only “physical” battle you can ever win is a twar (Twitter War).

6.       Ending up with an English accent from watching too many Amy Winehouse documentaries on YouTube.

7.       Tilting your head to the side every time you smile.

8.       Being able to type “LMAO” without even a slightest smile.

9.       Thinking that you know Christian Siriano and Brad Walsh personally and believing that you will be their “bride’s maid” at their wedding.

10.   Sudden realisation that you spent two hours going through your boyfriend’s Facebook page, clicking on every activity he did in the last few hours.

Source: berrymii.wordpress.com

The elephant in the room

Source: explow.com

1.       Overly defined jaw line, check.

2.       Painfully sticking out cheek bones, check.

3.       Ribs countable from two meters away, check.

4.       Legs and arms resemble twigs, check.

5.       Hip bone ridiculously visible, check.

I look skeletal to say the least. That’s okay, because this is only acceptable; it’s what an “IT Girl” should look like. The media can’t stress that enough. So I am certain that as I step out the door, I will turn heads. I’ll be the envy of all those fat girls in size 32 jeans.

And when I step into the casting studio, I will not feel like an elephant in the room. That’s what happened the last time – I had starved myself for two weeks. But I tripped on that morning, I had a carrot for breakfast and forgot to throw up!

Every day is a good day

Some few weeks ago I witnessed daylight robbery. A friend of mine lost his dear cousin last week; he died from an HIV related illness. Another one gave up his job because he could not take the abuse from his bosses any longer. My nephew had to be rushed to hospital as he suffered from a condition that I can’t disclose while he was at the initiation school.

And you stand there telling that me every day is a good day? Maybe not from where I am standing.

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

Is it not amazing what miracles a man’s penis can achieve? I mean, what other body organ is able to go from flaccid to a firm erection in seconds and just by a stroke or visual stimulation? You just gotta give it to the penis!

Consequently, I officially declare the penis one of the man’s greatest strengths. For its vital role in the human reproduction process and the amount of pleasure it provides to the fairer sex, shout out to the penis!

However,

·         Unwanted pregnancies,

·         The spread of STIs due to irresponsible sexual behaviour,

·         Divorces,

·         Broken hearts, and

·         Fatherless children.

Are all consequences of the man’s greatest weakness, which also turn out to be the penis.

Try a cliché

Not so long ago, during one of our looooong tele chats, my boyfriend suggested that I try my hand at fashion blogging. I won’t lie and say this has not crossed my mind a bit too often and I quickly dismissed it each time.

He knows I'm mad about fashion and he reckons that I’d put Bryan Boy to shame if I started blogging on it. I’m not too sure about succeeding Bryan but I know I’d enjoy it.

BUT…I’m gay!

I mean, gay + fashion = cliché. Do you get it or am I too careful not to be labelled “typically gay”?

It’s quite clear that most gay people love fashion; hence a lot of them have made successful careers in that field. That’s not a bad thing but it has sort of fuelled the stereotype (if I can call it that) that gay people are into “fluffy” interests such as fashion.

For that reason and my endless endeavour to be distinct, I don’t wanna blog about fashion. I’d rather comment on…uhm…everything else. But who knows? Someday I might try may hand at it.

Just to keep the boyfriend quiet.  

Feelings follow behaviour

George is a boy; he has broad shoulders, muscular arms, a beard and a penis – they don’t get any boyer than that. Though these features of his body are a constant reminder that he is, in fact, a boy, George believes that he is a girl. He feels strongly about that.

Every morning he wakes up and opposes the forces of the norm. After his shower he spends hours in front of the mirror correcting, or rather perfecting the nature. First he shaves off his beard, puts on makeup, tuck his penis between his legs and keep it in place with a piece of duct tape. Then he puts on his dress, step into his stilettos and flick his silky hair back.

A long day of mockery, abuse and discriminations lies ahead. But he smiles. In this state he feels perfect!

So he struts it, one hand on a hip, pout in place, he walks out the door.

“Hi there, my name is Georgina and boy! I feel fabulous as can be!” he beams.

pic source: jasontellsitlikeitis.com

Hi there, I'm still around; can you smell my aura?

I promise you, I am having a mega cringe-fest as I am typing this. I have not been posting for THREE weeks!

I know that's bad and I wish I had an excuse. I could blame Cape Town's bad weather but my boyfriend is still not in town to keep me warm, so really I have no reason to stay away from the pen and paper (hope that makes sense).

Perhaps the heaps of varsity work I had to complete in two weeks coupled with work's scary deadlines can be seen as my reasons to neglect you? Well, that's my reason and I am sticking to it.

I must say I never thought working and studying at the same time would be this demanding! I have not even had time to shave my under arms...ooops! Too much info.

But anyways, with the first semester gone (thank goodness!) I am happy to say I will now have time to do what I enjoy the most; sharing my view of the world with you! I have so much to tell, its quite amazing!

I promise not to vanish like that again.

Cheers for now; I am off to have a "me-weekend", that is hours spent in bed, loads of rooibos tea and lots of reading. I need that...or maybe I'm just broke.

Its Barbie Biiiiirch!



And yes, I did feel like a I was playing with a Harajuku Barbie when I made this collage

I was introduced to Nicki Minaj by a friend early last year. Though I instantly loooved her fashion sense, I had my reservations with regards to her music. Firstly, I could not hear word she uttered; secondly her animated facial expressions and vocals did annoy me.

I did not understand all the fuss around her and I secretly feared that she would steal Lady Gaga’s spotlight.





Being a devoted Little Monster, I just could not bear the thought of Mother Monster’s decline!

So I spent months trying to ignore her pink presence. And let me tell you right now, ignoring Nicki is like trying to find a man in Cape Town – HARD WORK! I mean, that girl’s ass is just all over the place, literally!

Eventually I gave up and decided to give a try. I have, absolutely, no idea how it happened but before I knew it, I was a Men Ken, complete with an English accent, a squeaky voice and a Nicki Minaj Blink!  

To make up for the lost time, I got myself her debut album, Pink Friday and her latest offering Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded at the same time. I tell you no lies, I have been listening to nothing else, but Nicki Minaj for the last two months.

Call me obsessed but I am considering getting myself a pink tutu and a bleach blond wig – for real!

Young love or bad romance?

The journey from the bus station to my house in the evenings is always an interesting one. The streets are usually lined with young couples in awkwardly intimate positions. By “young” I mean just that; boys and girls that could be as young as 14. The boy usually has his arms around the girl’s waist while she giggles and mumbles words unknown to me.

Source: vi.sualize.us

Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and I find myself closely walking past them to eavesdrop. I swear one of these meetings’ policies is to suddenly keep quiet whenever anyone walks past.   Though the content of their conversations remains a mystery, I always imagine neglected home work, a stressed mother and a very high possibility of an addition to our staggering teenage pregnancy rate.

It does not take a qualified psychologist to understand that any teenager’s mentality is not mature enough to deal with all the components of romance. I won’t even dwell on the sexual side of things. So the running of these relations between these kids is always a wonder.

Perhaps with all the constant evolution of our world, society’s take on relationships has seen some drastic changes as well? Perhaps romance, with its sexual association, is no longer enjoyed by two mature individuals who share a clear understanding of its implications. Could it happen that love has now gained a new meaning, one that does not involve responsibility, care and respect?

I don’t know.

However, I do know that at 14, the last thing on my mind was a relationship. Avoiding punishment by mother I kept my homework and chores as my priorities. You could say I was not a very smart child because my basic understanding of relationship was that it was about sex – something I believed to be sacred and even forbidden. I still carry part of that belief, though now it is more informed; of course relationships are not all about sex.

I don’t think those 14 year olds giggling on the street corners understand that though. Their understanding of that concept would be an explanation to the decrease of teenage pregnancy and maybe that of new HIV infections as well.

It is better to practice a little than talk a lot

Sometime a bit of action gets your point accross more clearly (and louder) than a million words can ever achieve.



eggheadcheesybird.deviantart.com



NB: This post is by no means a promotion of violence.

Things we do in love!

Earlier today while I was having a moment, I decided to go through my old Facebook posts and found one of my rather cheesy notes. I wrote this for my ex and I do have a rigid belief that I must have been really drunk on love! I could not stop cringing as I read it so I though I'd share it with you:

Echoing silence had made a home in my heart for a while
Setting me distinct, I had become accustomed to it
For its arctic nature I only knew
Wary loneliness kept my being in its cold eye

Years rolled, circumstances became overly comfortable
Shoved into a comfort zone, I became convinced that my destiny is with me (alone)
Cold nights, tears, boredom…all became part of norm

One day he walked into the cold space I called my life
Suddenly warmth surrounded me
Feelings of happiness overwhelmed me.
He brought me back to senses

His presence gave birth to my joy
A joy whose taste I had long forgotten
It tickles my heart and sends beautiful sensation into my entire being.

His presence my joy…my newly found joy

Don't judge, I was in love! *hides*

Wedding cake in the middle of the road

Before him, I would have never given a guy in a suit and a tie a second look. He looked a bit too straight, had a bounce in his walk and had tads of township slang in his language. See, a very specific kind of guy interests me. He walks with a twist (I know), talks with a twang and looks like he just stepped out of a street fashion blog post. I guess you could say I like them “physically gay”. That explains the list of trannies in my ex list.

But it was different with this one; something about his extreme straightness sharpened my curiosity. At least curiosity is all I thought he managed to dig out of me. Before I knew it, I was head over heels in love with him. Though it was the kind of love I could not openly share, I found myself eager to give it a try. He made me promise to keep everything under wraps – something I would have never agreed to had I been in a normal state of mind. Like they say, love makes us do all sorts stupid things.

Part of the deal was to never act like we had any romantic link in front of people; no holding of hands, no pet names and definitely no stolen pecks! I had to be less flamboyant about my sexuality. I am best known for my imaginary hair flicks and my Naomi Campbell walk so you can just imagine what a torture that relationship must have been.

So yeah, I had fallen for a brother on the Down Low, an after 9, a Night Rider and honey, I had it really baaaad!

We had been together for six month when the news of his pregnant girlfriend and a wedding on the way broke!!! Nothing made sense; how long had he been with this girl? Had he been cheating on me/on her all this time? When did he find time to be with her, let alone impregnate her? Did she know about his sexuality? Where does this leave me?

All those questions were responded to with a single answer: “I’m sorry, but God, my family and the community expect me to get married and have children; that’s how life should be.”

So he went ahead and got married, they had a beautiful baby girl. They must have left their wedding cake in the middle of the road though.  A “till death do us part” did not happen. There must have been more worses than betters. My ex now walks the streets without a band on his finger, his ex wife is a single mother and I…I will never, ever get involved with a guy that has issues with his sexuality.

Source: endgaybullying.tumblr.com

Let's talk about sex baby!



source: mactm.wordpress.com



WARNING: Please be aware that this post contains the word SEX. Shocked? Nervous? Embarrassed? Those are the reactions I mostly receive from people every time I bring this topic publicly. What’s with that? In a world where sex education has become one of the main focuses as means of reducing the fast spread of HIV, it is disappointing to still find people who shun away from the issue.

On a recent gasp worthy scenario a mother commanded her teenage daughter to switch off the TV because a “too explicit” show about sex education was on! Another one was when a not so elderly member of my community told me that it’s against his traditional morals to openly talk about sex…not even to his wife. Sigh! We still have those kinds of thinkers.

The issue of HIV spread through misinformed and careless sexual tendencies has been on our faces for too long. By now, you can be forgiven for thinking people know all the necessary precautions. I find it strange that people are more comfortable with discussing what I think is the less important side of sex, like how good their partners are in bed and the different positions they experiment with. But should you try and get them to talk about the risks and disadvantages attached to sex; you are in for one awkward conversation. That’s something to think about during the afterglow.

I think the old saying, “talk is cheap, actions speaks louder” unfortunately does not apply to sex. That’s one of the sad realities brought by this world’s adverse developments. Let’s talk about sex; share our knowledge with the less informed so we can all be safe. Before you jump to bed with your partner, talk about what might be the repercussion of that action. Or even better, use a condom…that might require less taking since it should be a no compromise rule.