Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it once broken but the cracks remain on reflection.

I have not been around this world long enough to dub myself an expert in relationship matters. However, I do believe that I have gained more than enough experience to know that trust and transparency are key to successful unions, be it with friends or spouses. 
Through all the relationships that I have been (and still) a part of I have learnt that the only thing that kept me around is my trust for that certain individual. Some relationship ended badly and the root of the split was always the violation of my trust.
I’ve had to let go of friends because I could no longer trust them due to their choices in life. Some of them had to face the exit because they betrayed their loyalty by simply not living up to their promises. Once I was in a relationship with someone that I thought I could trust with my life. I bared my soul to him. Okay, maybe not really my soul but I invested so much faith in him that I decided to over look his flaws, a lot of them.
The revelation of his monkey business did not really come as a surprise, the signs were always visible. But I had taught myself to trust him. Even after he betrayed me, I thought I could still make it work so I stuck around. Because the traces of the mess he had created could not be easily erased, the relationship snowballed to a sticky, never ending muddle of accusations, fights and tears. Eventually, I had to let go.
Lady Gaga once said, “Trust is like a mirror, you can try to fix it once broken. But you will always see the cracks on your reflection.” Or was it Beyonce? Whatever! But that statement is true in every respect. Trust is the most precious and most sensitive possession. It requires tender care and utmost attention.
Once someone crushes your trust, it is very difficult, almost impossible to regain it. You always second guess them, question the silliest things and keep them under a ridiculously watchful eye. That’s not healthy; it only clots your happiness. You’re always wondering what they are getting up to on your absence and you constantly feel the need to be updated on their comings and goings. That’s the worst space to be in, for anyone.
An unfortunate fact is that the only way to exit that space is by cutting the ties with that person. This is according to my experience.


  1. Well written (heartfelt) piece. I agree 100%. Trust is critical. Once broken, it is difficult to regain, but I can attest to the fact that if the other person does show true remorse and a desire to change, the trust does come back.

    1. Truth! But it never gets back to the initial point hey!