And yes, I did feel like a I was playing with a Harajuku Barbie when I made this collage
I was introduced to Nicki Minaj by a friend early last year. Though I instantly loooved her fashion sense, I had my reservations with regards to her music. Firstly, I could not hear word she uttered; secondly her animated facial expressions and vocals did annoy me.
I did not understand all the fuss around her and I secretly feared that she would steal Lady Gaga’s spotlight.
Being a devoted Little Monster, I just could not bear the thought of Mother Monster’s decline!
So I spent months trying to ignore her pink presence. And let me tell you right now, ignoring Nicki is like trying to find a man in Cape Town – HARD WORK! I mean, that girl’s ass is just all over the place, literally!
Eventually I gave up and decided to give a try. I have, absolutely, no idea how it happened but before I knew it, I was a Men Ken, complete with an English accent, a squeaky voice and a Nicki Minaj Blink!
To make up for the lost time, I got myself her debut album, Pink Friday and her latest offering Pink Friday: Roman Reloaded at the same time. I tell you no lies, I have been listening to nothing else, but Nicki Minaj for the last two months.
Call me obsessed but I am considering getting myself a pink tutu and a bleach blond wig – for real!
The journey from the bus station to my house in the evenings is always an interesting one. The streets are usually lined with young couples in awkwardly intimate positions. By “young” I mean just that; boys and girls that could be as young as 14. The boy usually has his arms around the girl’s waist while she giggles and mumbles words unknown to me.
Sometimes my curiosity gets the best of me and I find myself closely walking past them to eavesdrop. I swear one of these meetings’ policies is to suddenly keep quiet whenever anyone walks past.Though the content of their conversations remains a mystery, I always imagine neglected home work, a stressed mother and a very high possibility of an addition to our staggering teenage pregnancy rate.
It does not take a qualified psychologist to understand that any teenager’s mentality is not mature enough to deal with all the components of romance. I won’t even dwell on the sexual side of things. So the running of these relations between these kids is always a wonder.
Perhaps with all the constant evolution of our world, society’s take on relationships has seen some drastic changes as well? Perhaps romance, with its sexual association, is no longer enjoyed by two mature individuals who share a clear understanding of its implications. Could it happen that love has now gained a new meaning, one that does not involve responsibility, care and respect?
I don’t know.
However, I do know that at 14, the last thing on my mind was a relationship. Avoiding punishment by mother I kept my homework and chores as my priorities. You could say I was not a very smart child because my basic understanding of relationship was that it was about sex – something I believed to be sacred and even forbidden. I still carry part of that belief, though now it is more informed; of course relationships are not all about sex.
I don’t think those 14 year olds giggling on the street corners understand that though. Their understanding of that concept would be an explanation to the decrease of teenage pregnancy and maybe that of new HIV infections as well.
Earlier today while I was having a moment, I decided to go through my old Facebook posts and found one of my rather cheesy notes. I wrote this for my ex and I do have a rigid belief that I must have been really drunk on love! I could not stop cringing as I read it so I though I'd share it with you:
Echoing silence had made a home in my heart for a while Setting me distinct, I had become accustomed to it For its arctic nature I only knew Wary loneliness kept my being in its cold eye
Years rolled, circumstances became overly comfortable Shoved into a comfort zone, I became convinced that my destiny is with me (alone) Cold nights, tears, boredom…all became part of norm
One day he walked into the cold space I called my life Suddenly warmth surrounded me Feelings of happiness overwhelmed me. He brought me back to senses
His presence gave birth to my joy A joy whose taste I had long forgotten It tickles my heart and sends beautiful sensation into my entire being.
Before him, I would have never given a guy in a suit and a tie a second look. He looked a bit too straight, had a bounce in his walk and had tads of township slang in his language. See, a very specific kind of guy interests me. He walks with a twist (I know), talks with a twang and looks like he just stepped out of a street fashion blog post. I guess you could say I like them “physically gay”. That explains the list of trannies in my ex list.
But it was different with this one; something about his extreme straightness sharpened my curiosity. At least curiosity is all I thought he managed to dig out of me. Before I knew it, I was head over heels in love with him. Though it was the kind of love I could not openly share, I found myself eager to give it a try. He made me promise to keep everything under wraps – something I would have never agreed to had I been in a normal state of mind. Like they say, love makes us do all sorts stupid things.
Part of the deal was to never act like we had any romantic link in front of people; no holding of hands, no pet names and definitely no stolen pecks! I had to be less flamboyant about my sexuality. I am best known for my imaginary hair flicks and my Naomi Campbell walk so you can just imagine what a torture that relationship must have been.
So yeah, I had fallen for a brother on the Down Low, an after 9, a Night Rider and honey, I had it really baaaad!
We had been together for six month when the news of his pregnant girlfriend and a wedding on the way broke!!! Nothing made sense; how long had he been with this girl? Had he been cheating on me/on her all this time? When did he find time to be with her, let alone impregnate her? Did she know about his sexuality? Where does this leave me?
All those questions were responded to with a single answer: “I’m sorry, but God, my family and the community expect me to get married and have children; that’s how life should be.”
So he went ahead and got married, they had a beautiful baby girl. They must have left their wedding cake in the middle of the road though.A “till death do us part” did not happen. There must have been more worses than betters. My ex now walks the streets without a band on his finger, his ex wife is a single mother and I…I will never, ever get involved with a guy that has issues with his sexuality.
WARNING: Please be aware that this post contains the word SEX. Shocked? Nervous? Embarrassed? Those are the reactions I mostly receive from people every time I bring this topic publicly. What’s with that? In a world where sex education has become one of the main focuses as means of reducing the fast spread of HIV, it is disappointing to still find people who shun away from the issue.
On a recent gasp worthy scenario a mother commanded her teenage daughter to switch off the TV because a “too explicit” show about sex education was on! Another one was when a not so elderly member of my community told me that it’s against his traditional morals to openly talk about sex…not even to his wife. Sigh! We still have those kinds of thinkers.
The issue of HIV spread through misinformed and careless sexual tendencies has been on our faces for too long. By now, you can be forgiven for thinking people know all the necessary precautions. I find it strange that people are more comfortable with discussing what I think is the less important side of sex, like how good their partners are in bed and the different positions they experiment with. But should you try and get them to talk about the risks and disadvantages attached to sex; you are in for one awkward conversation. That’s something to think about during the afterglow.
I think the old saying, “talk is cheap, actions speaks louder” unfortunately does not apply to sex. That’s one of the sad realities brought by this world’s adverse developments. Let’s talk about sex; share our knowledge with the less informed so we can all be safe. Before you jump to bed with your partner, talk about what might be the repercussion of that action. Or even better, use a condom…that might require less taking since it should be a no compromise rule.
What did I say to you, huh? Yes, I said leave him. I said you deserve better.
And what did you say? You said he did all that trippin’ ‘cause he had not met the right girl yet. You said he had been looking for you all the while and now that he was with you, his wandering ways would tame.
But did he stop makin’ a fool of you? Did he quit abusing you? No, he didn’t refrain from taking you for granted. He continued hookin’ up with all those floozies.
But still you kept believing all his stories. Even though you knew they were all lies, you kept on giving him “second chances”.
Though everyone knew the truth, you kept on lying to yourself. Look at you now!