My BIG fat dream...

I own Mary Kate Olsen’s entire wardrobe, I have a head full of unruly curly hair and I am cheating on my husband, Zakes Bantwini with Kanye West.

I don’t have a real job; I make a living from partying – people, organisations and governmental departments pay me really good money to make an appearance at their parties. I shop from all the top boutiques to kill time and on my free time; I get my facials nails done at Elixir Spar.

......

Well that’s just a fantasy I like to absorb myself in when the reality sucks, which is every other second day. But really, my big fat dream is my online retail store fully fledged with customers all over the country (or, makes that the world). I no longer regret having spent four years of my life studying for a qualification in a field that I am not entirely passionate about. I also do not really care that I spent another four years trying to carve a career in the same field.

All those years, have prepared me for my ultimate destination; fashion. Not only do I own this highly successful store, I also do publicity and media relation for fashion brands on a consulting basis.

I am married to the love of my life, we have a Chihuahua and will live happily ever after!

Hey lovers! Please excuse the silence :)

No. I did not die. I haven’t lost my passion for blogging and I have not been suffering from a two months long writer's block.

The reason for my absence from the blogosphere has been my challenging job and my equally demanding studies. However, I am extremely happy to announce that next week, I will be submitting my thesis, meaning an end to my studies! Phew! That’s if I pass all the gruelling courses.

So yeah, I will have more time to do thing that I actually enjoy; blogging, youtubing, tweeting, facebooking and all things online!

Conventional is a good fallback position, isn’t it?

Sometimes he wears a turban, accentuates his soft features with ethnic jewelry. His feminine figure is best defined in his skinny jeans. With his nerdy glasses and scruffy beard it creates somewhat an unusual look.   The one that attracts puzzled stares and amused giggles.  As he applies his eyeliner, he is convinced it’s going to be a good day.

A day lined with judgmental whispers, hurting remarks, disgusted glances and angry curses – it’s still a good day. At least he managed to keep his smile intact.

He could have avoided the unfortunate reality by confirming to its demands. He could have bought their acceptance by living the definition of the norm.

After all, conventional is a good fallback position, isn’t it?

Why is it normal for girls to wrap their head is doeks and line their eyes?

You cannot chase two rabbits at the same time

This is one of the topics I have been assigned to post on as part of my Media Studies course. Again, I disagree. So I will not waste my time and Google stories that contradict with pursuing two goals at the same time.

We all know that this is possible. In fact almost everyone in my class is a living proof of that. I mean, as part time students, we are all working toward obtaining a qualification to advance our education while ensuring that our careers are on point at the same time.

Though they are closely aligned, these are two different goals. Right?

Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it once broken but the cracks remain on reflection.

I have not been around this world long enough to dub myself an expert in relationship matters. However, I do believe that I have gained more than enough experience to know that trust and transparency are key to successful unions, be it with friends or spouses. 

Through all the relationships that I have been (and still) a part of I have learnt that the only thing that kept me around is my trust for that certain individual. Some relationship ended badly and the root of the split was always the violation of my trust.

spellscasting.blogspot.com

I’ve had to let go of friends because I could no longer trust them due to their choices in life. Some of them had to face the exit because they betrayed their loyalty by simply not living up to their promises. Once I was in a relationship with someone that I thought I could trust with my life. I bared my soul to him. Okay, maybe not really my soul but I invested so much faith in him that I decided to over look his flaws, a lot of them.

The revelation of his monkey business did not really come as a surprise, the signs were always visible. But I had taught myself to trust him. Even after he betrayed me, I thought I could still make it work so I stuck around. Because the traces of the mess he had created could not be easily erased, the relationship snowballed to a sticky, never ending muddle of accusations, fights and tears. Eventually, I had to let go.

Lady Gaga once said, “Trust is like a mirror, you can try to fix it once broken. But you will always see the cracks on your reflection.” Or was it Beyonce? Whatever! But that statement is true in every respect. Trust is the most precious and most sensitive possession. It requires tender care and utmost attention.

Once someone crushes your trust, it is very difficult, almost impossible to regain it. You always second guess them, question the silliest things and keep them under a ridiculously watchful eye. That’s not healthy; it only clots your happiness. You’re always wondering what they are getting up to on your absence and you constantly feel the need to be updated on their comings and goings. That’s the worst space to be in, for anyone.

An unfortunate fact is that the only way to exit that space is by cutting the ties with that person. This is according to my experience.

"Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea" (Alain)

Two years ago I took a really brave decision. Perhaps brave is not the correct word; when I look back to it now, I think I might have been possessed by demons. No, that does not explain it too. Maybe I suffered from a minor mental condition?

 Let me tell you the story then you can diagnose my ‘illness’.

At the beginning of 2010, I quit my job as an Accounts Executive of a PR company. The job was stressful but very fulfilling, the money was good and the projects were exciting, at least most of them.

So why did I leave?

One day while travelling from home from work, an intriguing thought popped into my mind. “If you can formulate, plan, execute and evaluate PR/communications strategies successfully to generate money for someone’s business, why can’t you do that for your own consultancy?” the small voice asked.  

By the time I got home my head was spinning! I had this grand vision of myself running my own successful PR consultancy with some really stunning clients and making tons and heaps of money. I managed to convince myself that I could do it. I mean, I had the skills, the qualification and my TWO years experience *shrieks*.

So why what could possibly stop me?

Two months later: I had resigned, registered my company, and developed the brand complete with my website, business cards and all! This was all done in a really amazing rush of excitement coupled with my die hard ambition. Now I was set and ready to take the PR industry by storm.

((BOOM))

By the time I realised that I had been driven by a single idea, my bank account was nonexistent and depression had made a home in my mind. I realised that I had been absorbed in my golden idea of starting my own business but I had absolutely no idea how I would make it work! I had no clue where to begin in recruiting clients.

After that realisation, I spent about almost a year of my life accepting rejection of employers, crying myself to sleep and financially dependent on family and friends. So far, that has been the toughest phase of my life. Hey, at some point I even contacted my previous employers and begged them to take me back.

But like they say, we learn through living. Now I am glad to say from that experience I have learnt that nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you only have one idea.

BFFs

Allow me to introduce to you two of the four men that matter the most in my life - my best friends (pictured with me above) Wanda & Randy. Randy is the tall one and Wanda is the dark one. See? One of the reasons I adore them is that they are easy to describe.

Their descriptions go beyond their physical appearance though. These two guys are the real definition of unconditional love and true friendship. Through them, I have learnt most of this life's important lessons; that is to be comfortable in my own skin, to be patient (though that remains a weakness) and to be content with what I have.

With more than 8 years of being together and still going strong, I think I can safely say that our friendship has stood the test of time!

The dynamics of this friendship are thrilling enough to be a separate post, so stay tuned.

And oh, the other two men who matter the most are my one and only brother and my boyfriend ;)