Have you figured out the second head fake?

tumblr.com

Some time ago, before I realised the importance of staying true to myself, I was caught up in the idea of being popular. You know, like an “IT fag”; the one that dons the most expensive clothes, has the most advanced smart phone, an ultra-hot boyfriend (or shag mate) and most importantly tons and heaps of cool friends.

So I made it a mission to obtain that status but it proved to be a bit of a challenge. The clothes, the cell phones and the boyfriend/shag mate were concealed by my financial constraints. Yes, in the Cape Town gay scene, a lot of boys are up for sale (believe it or not). They don’t come cheap...

However, making a ridiculously lot of friends was easy peasy! All I had to do was to put on a Model C accent, be updated on the current Beyonce or Lady Gaga scoop, own a packet of cigarettes and wear clothes that previously belonged to old white women when they were still alive. That made me relevant and I made dozens of cool “friends”. Only much later would I learn how loosely the term “friends” is used – or rather misused?

Being the genuine person that I am, I poured my being into these friendships. See, not only did I discuss my crushes and weekend plans with my “friends” but I also shared with them my true sentiments, aspirations and some really personal stuff.

Biggest mistake ever!

My newly found popularity came to an abrupt end as my friends started developing second heads. And no, I’m not going all sci-fi on you right now. I saw it with my own eyes, and I wear glasses so I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure which one was most astonishing; the revelation of the second head or figuring out that the first one is actually fake!

Not only did it turn out that some of my “friends” carried replicated Louis Vuitton sling bags, I found out that they also displayed faux personalities. All it took to realise that was a manifestation of my true self. My objection on reckless living, having fun AKA sleeping around and gossiping drove my “friends” away.

So out went my popularity and the labels started flocking in. At some point I was “Goody 2 Shoes” then I was a “Blonde White Bitch” before I finally became a “Slut on the Sly”. The origin of these striking titles is still unknown to me.