BFFs

Allow me to introduce to you two of the four men that matter the most in my life - my best friends (pictured with me above) Wanda & Randy. Randy is the tall one and Wanda is the dark one. See? One of the reasons I adore them is that they are easy to describe.

Their descriptions go beyond their physical appearance though. These two guys are the real definition of unconditional love and true friendship. Through them, I have learnt most of this life's important lessons; that is to be comfortable in my own skin, to be patient (though that remains a weakness) and to be content with what I have.

With more than 8 years of being together and still going strong, I think I can safely say that our friendship has stood the test of time!

The dynamics of this friendship are thrilling enough to be a separate post, so stay tuned.

And oh, the other two men who matter the most are my one and only brother and my boyfriend ;)

My Summer Look

YES* I found one more reason to look forward to summer - to rock the look above! The other two reasons are to wear slops to work and to wearing speedos for the first time (yes, I have been preparing my body baby!)

Anyways, I came accross this picture of  the world's highest paid male model, Baptiste Giabiconi, when I was having one of my Perve Moments on the internet (figure it out). My hear raced and my palms started sweating and suprisingly that reaction was not caused by this man's dangerous sex appeal but his out fit on this picture!

This is what I have been looking for - a look to abuse! So that's it, I am getting myself all kinds of denim extra short shorts and over sizes checked shirts that I can find. This will be my everyday look...almost!

However, I am no stranger to short shorts....

I guess no one really embraced this look when I was gaga over it, uhm, two years ago. I also guess you can call me, erm, fashion forward? LOL! 

Have you figured out the second head fake?

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Some time ago, before I realised the importance of staying true to myself, I was caught up in the idea of being popular. You know, like an “IT fag”; the one that dons the most expensive clothes, has the most advanced smart phone, an ultra-hot boyfriend (or shag mate) and most importantly tons and heaps of cool friends.

So I made it a mission to obtain that status but it proved to be a bit of a challenge. The clothes, the cell phones and the boyfriend/shag mate were concealed by my financial constraints. Yes, in the Cape Town gay scene, a lot of boys are up for sale (believe it or not). They don’t come cheap...

However, making a ridiculously lot of friends was easy peasy! All I had to do was to put on a Model C accent, be updated on the current Beyonce or Lady Gaga scoop, own a packet of cigarettes and wear clothes that previously belonged to old white women when they were still alive. That made me relevant and I made dozens of cool “friends”. Only much later would I learn how loosely the term “friends” is used – or rather misused?

Being the genuine person that I am, I poured my being into these friendships. See, not only did I discuss my crushes and weekend plans with my “friends” but I also shared with them my true sentiments, aspirations and some really personal stuff.

Biggest mistake ever!

My newly found popularity came to an abrupt end as my friends started developing second heads. And no, I’m not going all sci-fi on you right now. I saw it with my own eyes, and I wear glasses so I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure which one was most astonishing; the revelation of the second head or figuring out that the first one is actually fake!

Not only did it turn out that some of my “friends” carried replicated Louis Vuitton sling bags, I found out that they also displayed faux personalities. All it took to realise that was a manifestation of my true self. My objection on reckless living, having fun AKA sleeping around and gossiping drove my “friends” away.

So out went my popularity and the labels started flocking in. At some point I was “Goody 2 Shoes” then I was a “Blonde White Bitch” before I finally became a “Slut on the Sly”. The origin of these striking titles is still unknown to me.  

I am...

In a connected world where trends and gadgets have crippled people’s sense of individualism, I AM on a mission to claim my peculiarity. I am not ready to let societal opinions and norms determine my way of doing things but I AM prepared to be a deviation. I AM a free spirit and I will continue exploring my capabilities to the best of my ability.

Amongst my peers, I AM the one that is not going to take the easy way out. I AM equipped with intelligence to tackle all the challenges that may arise along the way to success.  I have drive and ambition and I AM going to see the realisation of my dreams.

In my community, I AM going to make a difference. I aim to be the inspiration of the upcoming generations. Achieving that aim requires tremendous focus and hard work and I AM determined to abide. I AM not afraid to face the harsh realities of following my dream but I fear failure.

In myself, I AM a firm believer. I feed my brain with knowledge as I go along so to broaden my horizons. I go with an open mind and I AM open to suggestions and advise of those wiser than I AM.

I am…

Siya Mahomba

Our backgrounds are not the determinants of our future

My previuos post on the Affirmative Action received some really interesting response. Some people fairly agreed with me but a lot of people were quite hurt and angered by my sentiments. I have always known that we are a bit of a dysfunctional society, but I was not aware of the amount of anger we carry with us as a result of our past.

One comment that stood out for me was from one reader who assumed that my view on our economic state and our political system might be influenced by my age and  background.

He felt that I am too young to be discussing state issues such as the Affirmative Action. He also presumed that I come from a well off family, therefore I am not affected by the harsh realities of our country hence my deviating opinions on Affirmative Action. My response to both these allegations? This man is completely wrong.

Though I felt his antagonism as an unemployed young South African, I dismally failed to understand how he came to his conclusion.

Of course I tried to gain some understanding by asking him but my attempt was only met with silence. This incident brought back to my mind an issue that I have been meaning to address for sometime. In my opinion, our backgrounds are really not the determinants of our future. Therefore, I don’t see why we should refer to them when we seek a way forward.

However, I fully aggree that one’s past can be a powerful tool to use in carving a better future. Please allow me to make use of my own experince as an example. I was raised by a single mother together with my three siblings in a tiny 3 roomed shack and later a warm house that we are all proud of. My upbringing was not at all glits and glam. My mother’s hardwork, which ultimately saw me to my current state of life kept me and my siblings above the water. So there you have it; I do not come from a well off family.

I could have chosen to blame the government for my lack of access to all the basics I needed to get by like some of my peers did. I could have been rebelious against the public education that I received and dropped out of school. I could have refused to work hard while other children from other races received all their wishes on a silver platter.

But I did’nt.

It did not make sense  to expect some legislations to see me through life. Their mere existance were an an encouragement enough for me to get up and claim a comfortable life for myself. I did not see how my complaints about the past that I was not even a part of would ensure me a bright future. So  just like my mother, I resorted to hardwork to see me through life. And let me tell you, it worked like a charm.  

Andy Warhol said, “In the future everybody will be world famous for fifteen minutes.” You can’t choose the 15 minutes but why would you be world famous?

Warhol’s prophecy has been realised in a million ways recently. Think back to the recent racism outbreaks on the social media space.

Now, can you remember all these incidents in detail? Can you recall the names of the perpetrators? No blame on you if you can’t – their fiften minutes of world wide fame are, well, over.

A Gay Movement with a twist

Pic source: kyivpost.com

Recently, I had a very interesting conversation with a long time friend of mine. He was telling me about some of the really “weird” situations that he has been encountering since he stepped out of the closet.

Prior to taking this brave decision, he was worried about the negative perceptions that his community would have on him and all the rejection that he would have to face.



But to his (and partly mine) surprise, his coming out has rather been a platform for a lot of people to express their not-so-negative sentiments on homosexuality!

He even got a few guys confessing their undying love for him. The response got so overwhelming to him that he is considering becoming some sort of an activist so he can encourage other closeted homosexuals to live their lives openly. Well, let’s just say my friend tends to be a bit too enthusiastic sometimes.

As I listened to him going on about his newly found vision to let it known to the gay nation that the world is not such a harsh place, I thought it would not be a bad idea for me to also embark on a similar endeavour. However, I have no interest convincing gay people that our society is not such a mean bunch – I have already told them the opposite, which, in all respect, is true.

My activism would be against gay people. Yes, I would like to fight all the negativity amongst gay people. It is my utmost desire for all gay people to stop living up to the society’s expectations; for them to stop proving the truth in some of the stereotypes out there. There is a widespread belief that gay people are promiscuous and sadly, quite a lot of them are.

Try flipping through a gay magazine and all you’ll see are pictures of half naked men in seductive poses and ridiculously sexualised articles. Attend one of their events and you will sure to find them parading around practically naked and displaying pornographic public affection. I know a lot of them will hate me for putting this out and call me a traitor but truth has to be told.

I have a few gay acquaintances who have admitted to being most passionate about sex. And let me tell you, they do feed their passion – thoroughly.

So the Gay Rights Activist in me will not fight for the recognition and acceptance of gay people in society. There are already a lot of people pursuing that farfetched quest. Shout out to them. Instead, I want to urge my fellow gays to ease up on the sex craze.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not generalising. We do have some good gays out there. I, of course, am one of them.