10 most unexpected consequences of being online

1.       Discovering that you actually have a crush on Pete Doherty.

2.       Forgetting the pressures of the reality.

3.       Realising how much you enjoy typing.

4.       Getting an ear ache and an eye irritation from watching Nicki Minaj’s Stupid Hoe music video 20 times in a row.

5.       Learning that the only “physical” battle you can ever win is a twar (Twitter War).

6.       Ending up with an English accent from watching too many Amy Winehouse documentaries on YouTube.

7.       Tilting your head to the side every time you smile.

8.       Being able to type “LMAO” without even a slightest smile.

9.       Thinking that you know Christian Siriano and Brad Walsh personally and believing that you will be their “bride’s maid” at their wedding.

10.   Sudden realisation that you spent two hours going through your boyfriend’s Facebook page, clicking on every activity he did in the last few hours.

Source: berrymii.wordpress.com

The elephant in the room

Source: explow.com

1.       Overly defined jaw line, check.

2.       Painfully sticking out cheek bones, check.

3.       Ribs countable from two meters away, check.

4.       Legs and arms resemble twigs, check.

5.       Hip bone ridiculously visible, check.

I look skeletal to say the least. That’s okay, because this is only acceptable; it’s what an “IT Girl” should look like. The media can’t stress that enough. So I am certain that as I step out the door, I will turn heads. I’ll be the envy of all those fat girls in size 32 jeans.

And when I step into the casting studio, I will not feel like an elephant in the room. That’s what happened the last time – I had starved myself for two weeks. But I tripped on that morning, I had a carrot for breakfast and forgot to throw up!

Every day is a good day

Some few weeks ago I witnessed daylight robbery. A friend of mine lost his dear cousin last week; he died from an HIV related illness. Another one gave up his job because he could not take the abuse from his bosses any longer. My nephew had to be rushed to hospital as he suffered from a condition that I can’t disclose while he was at the initiation school.

And you stand there telling that me every day is a good day? Maybe not from where I am standing.

Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses

Is it not amazing what miracles a man’s penis can achieve? I mean, what other body organ is able to go from flaccid to a firm erection in seconds and just by a stroke or visual stimulation? You just gotta give it to the penis!

Consequently, I officially declare the penis one of the man’s greatest strengths. For its vital role in the human reproduction process and the amount of pleasure it provides to the fairer sex, shout out to the penis!

However,

·         Unwanted pregnancies,

·         The spread of STIs due to irresponsible sexual behaviour,

·         Divorces,

·         Broken hearts, and

·         Fatherless children.

Are all consequences of the man’s greatest weakness, which also turn out to be the penis.

Try a cliché

Not so long ago, during one of our looooong tele chats, my boyfriend suggested that I try my hand at fashion blogging. I won’t lie and say this has not crossed my mind a bit too often and I quickly dismissed it each time.

He knows I'm mad about fashion and he reckons that I’d put Bryan Boy to shame if I started blogging on it. I’m not too sure about succeeding Bryan but I know I’d enjoy it.

BUT…I’m gay!

I mean, gay + fashion = cliché. Do you get it or am I too careful not to be labelled “typically gay”?

It’s quite clear that most gay people love fashion; hence a lot of them have made successful careers in that field. That’s not a bad thing but it has sort of fuelled the stereotype (if I can call it that) that gay people are into “fluffy” interests such as fashion.

For that reason and my endless endeavour to be distinct, I don’t wanna blog about fashion. I’d rather comment on…uhm…everything else. But who knows? Someday I might try may hand at it.

Just to keep the boyfriend quiet.  

Feelings follow behaviour

George is a boy; he has broad shoulders, muscular arms, a beard and a penis – they don’t get any boyer than that. Though these features of his body are a constant reminder that he is, in fact, a boy, George believes that he is a girl. He feels strongly about that.

Every morning he wakes up and opposes the forces of the norm. After his shower he spends hours in front of the mirror correcting, or rather perfecting the nature. First he shaves off his beard, puts on makeup, tuck his penis between his legs and keep it in place with a piece of duct tape. Then he puts on his dress, step into his stilettos and flick his silky hair back.

A long day of mockery, abuse and discriminations lies ahead. But he smiles. In this state he feels perfect!

So he struts it, one hand on a hip, pout in place, he walks out the door.

“Hi there, my name is Georgina and boy! I feel fabulous as can be!” he beams.

pic source: jasontellsitlikeitis.com

Hi there, I'm still around; can you smell my aura?

I promise you, I am having a mega cringe-fest as I am typing this. I have not been posting for THREE weeks!

I know that's bad and I wish I had an excuse. I could blame Cape Town's bad weather but my boyfriend is still not in town to keep me warm, so really I have no reason to stay away from the pen and paper (hope that makes sense).

Perhaps the heaps of varsity work I had to complete in two weeks coupled with work's scary deadlines can be seen as my reasons to neglect you? Well, that's my reason and I am sticking to it.

I must say I never thought working and studying at the same time would be this demanding! I have not even had time to shave my under arms...ooops! Too much info.

But anyways, with the first semester gone (thank goodness!) I am happy to say I will now have time to do what I enjoy the most; sharing my view of the world with you! I have so much to tell, its quite amazing!

I promise not to vanish like that again.

Cheers for now; I am off to have a "me-weekend", that is hours spent in bed, loads of rooibos tea and lots of reading. I need that...or maybe I'm just broke.