Let's talk about sex baby!



source: mactm.wordpress.com



WARNING: Please be aware that this post contains the word SEX. Shocked? Nervous? Embarrassed? Those are the reactions I mostly receive from people every time I bring this topic publicly. What’s with that? In a world where sex education has become one of the main focuses as means of reducing the fast spread of HIV, it is disappointing to still find people who shun away from the issue.

On a recent gasp worthy scenario a mother commanded her teenage daughter to switch off the TV because a “too explicit” show about sex education was on! Another one was when a not so elderly member of my community told me that it’s against his traditional morals to openly talk about sex…not even to his wife. Sigh! We still have those kinds of thinkers.

The issue of HIV spread through misinformed and careless sexual tendencies has been on our faces for too long. By now, you can be forgiven for thinking people know all the necessary precautions. I find it strange that people are more comfortable with discussing what I think is the less important side of sex, like how good their partners are in bed and the different positions they experiment with. But should you try and get them to talk about the risks and disadvantages attached to sex; you are in for one awkward conversation. That’s something to think about during the afterglow.

I think the old saying, “talk is cheap, actions speaks louder” unfortunately does not apply to sex. That’s one of the sad realities brought by this world’s adverse developments. Let’s talk about sex; share our knowledge with the less informed so we can all be safe. Before you jump to bed with your partner, talk about what might be the repercussion of that action. Or even better, use a condom…that might require less taking since it should be a no compromise rule.

It is a poor idea to lie to yourself

What did I say to you, huh? Yes, I said leave him. I said you deserve better.

And what did you say? You said he did all that trippin’ ‘cause he had not met the right girl yet. You said he had been looking for you all the while and now that he was with you, his wandering ways would tame.

But did he stop makin’ a fool of you? Did he quit abusing you? No, he didn’t refrain from taking you for granted. He continued hookin’ up with all those floozies.

But still you kept believing all his stories. Even though you knew they were all lies, you kept on giving him “second chances”.

Though everyone knew the truth, you kept on lying to yourself. Look at you now!

Hope you learnt your lesson!

Bandals...WTF!?!

I’ve been wondering what they call those strange shoes that look like they were once boots and then became sandals. It came as no surprise to discover that they actually have a deceitful name to match their dodgy appearance: Bandals! I have been coming across this ridiculous joke of a shoe creation a lot lately and it always does a pretty good job at annoying me every time.

Was any point to the creation of the bandals? I really don’t understand them. Are they meant to keep the wearer’s feet warm like boots are meant to do?

Are they supposed to be summer shoes or are they just meant to be a fashion statement?

I can’t think of any other reason for their existence, except maybe for annoying me. One thing is for sure though, they are an epic fail in both at being boots or sandals.

The sound of one hand clapping

A bang on the door, a pound on the table, a thump on the wall. Eventually, a slap across my face.

Somewhere in my mind I strongly believed that one day he would come home with a smile. “Honey, I’m home!” He would announce, greet me with a kiss and tell me how wonderful his day had been. I kept hoping frustration would go away and be replaced with peace in our home.

A bang on the door, a pound on the table, a thump on the wall. Eventually, a slap across my face.

They say insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. I guess you could say I must have been insane; I kept on going back to him, expecting to find a changed man each time. Only now do I realise that I must have been crazy to expect him to step back each time I screamed “STOP.”

A bang on the door, a pound on the table, a thump on the wall. Eventually, a slap across my face.

Each night he stumbled his way home, speech slurred, eyes red and fists ready to attack. It always began with careless remarks on how useless I am. Funny how everything that never went as planned was a result of my presence in his life. A very vulgar lecture on my nonexistent whoring ways would be followed by my screams of agony.

A bang on the door, a pound on my face, a thump on the wall. Eventually, a slap across my face.

Now I know the truth. He will never change. My beauty will never return. The bruises will never fade. My confidence will never resurface.

A bang on the door, a pound on my face, a thump on the wall. Eventually, a slap across my face. The sounds of his one hand clapping.

Truth is, you can only go back to him so much before
you either exit in a coffin or bruised forever.

Not all who wander are lost

After reassessing my ways, I found my mojo! 

About year ago I went through a somewhat difficult time of my life. I had discovered what I thought to be the worst mistake of my life: a completely wrong career choice! I had graduated from university and been in the industry for about two years but felt like I had not achieved anything. I realised that I had wasted three years of my life studying a course that would bring me nothing but misery instead of the success I had been hoping for.

If you spent time with me during this period, you would have been forgiven for calling me unstable, uncertain and lost. By this time I had changed jobs for three times in a bid to find one that truly satisfied me but I always found a number of things to hate in each of them. I was in the verge of a nervous breakdown when I decided to sit down and reassess the situation.

I love communications and media with all my heart so there was no way I could have made a mistake by deciding to study PR Management. So why was I never satisfied with any of the positions I acquired? After all, they were all in the field communications and media.

After much thought and analysing, I learnt that I had been going after jobs solely for the purpose of making an earning. I did not consider other important factors like the nature of the projects, working conditions and the work load. For that reason, I found myself in a never ending and a sad pursuit for job satisfaction. I was wandering like a lost traveller when all I needed to do was to just look for a job that I would thoroughly enjoy.

I decided to quit my job and go after what I truly desired; a creative job. After a while of unemployment and financial struggle, I finally got what I had been searching for! I am now finding my feet in a job that I would call perfectly ideal. As I look back on my journey, I realise I was never lost…I was walking towards the right direction but looking at the wrong way.

Give attentions to the dykes already!

I like the way South Africa, marks certain periods of the year to celebrate and honor certain groups of women. For example, August is marked as women’s month where women are celebrated the on the basis of the 1956 women’s march. This month sees campaigns and events that are held with an aim of highlighting the role of women in the socio-economic success of this country.

Then there is the global 16 days of activism against women abuse and children. Also a women empowering initiative, the campaign aims at demolishing or at least lessening gender violence while it fights for the recognition of women rights. It’s really heartwarming to see that there are means out there that are meant to celebrate and protect women.

However, there is one group of women that very less attention is paid to: lesbians. I’m not sure if it just me but out of all the women empowering campaigns and initiatives that are widely publicised I have not come across a single one that is designed to pay tribute to our lovely lesbian sisters. I, of course, stand to be corrected.

We are constantly reminded about all sorts of women’s rights, privileges, abilities and potential but nothing is ever mentioned about the existence of lesbians. Violation of lesbian rights, such as hate crime and rape is worryingly increasing but very less measure are taken to address this.

If this country aims to put an end to prejudice and discrimination, then all kind of our people must be equally celebrated and protected. 

How do you step from the top of a 100 foot pole?



Sissy Boy & The Poles



Stepping from the top of a 100-foot pole means taking a risk; it is finding the courage to do something extraordinary or taking a decision to finally go after your utmost desire. This could be starting your own business, a career change or, in my case, wearing high waist Sissy Boy pants (that are actually meant for girls)…

Stepping from the top of a 100-foot pole does not always guarantee a safe landing. Some people do not succeed in their attempts to start new ventures. However, with proper planning and the right tools, one can achieve their goals smoothly. By “right tool” I’m referring to confidence, education or, in my case, a rebellious urge to oppose the typical…

Stepping from the top of a 100-foot pole can be a very hard decision as it comes with many sacrifices. Often, people are discouraged from doing what they truly want to do by the fear of failure, societal norms, or, in my case, astonished stares and giggles from people…

Stepping from the top of a 100-foot pole requires uninterrupted focus, passion or, in my case, a sometimes ridiculously carefree attitude…

Stepping from the top of a 100-foot pole can lead to success; if done properly and cautiously it can result to a very happy ending. This can be a booming new business, a rewarding new job, or, in my case, applause from my equally crazy friends and flattering attention from strangers!