We are afraid of the wrong things...

Really, are we?

How do you begin defining and assessing the meaning of the word “wrong” when, like me, you live in a country whose leaders have no clue of what it is? In a country where wrong is justified by traditional customs; where adultery and promiscuity can be redefined as polygamy.

How do you sift the wrong from the right when the majority of you co-inhabitants choose to make a leader out of a man who might be misinformed on one of the country’s most horrifying pandemics? The one that regards taking a shower as a safety measure?

Do Wrong Right

Emotional roller coaster

 

Midst of the night, sweat glides down my forehead.

Closely followed by a similar salty fluid; the kind produced from my eyes.

A salty mixture of fluids dampening my pillow – a product of my hodgepodge of thoughts.

 I toss, I turn and I try hard to sink into unconsciousness.

“Darkness engulf me”

I call out to the night, numb to the painful truth that it has long fallen on me.

“Dawn on me”

I resort to that and an abrupt smile appears on my face.

The realisation of the dawn overwhelms me.

Rays of light fighting for habitation through the window grant me assurance.

They promise me that all is soon to be well.

High to the ranks of hope, I am lifted

“Sun, I am your child today.”

Fish falling from the sky



The recession might have affected our economy in more ways than one, but it has not been all doom and gloom. If you look at it from a more positive angle, it has given us an opportunity to look for more…erm…innovative and modern ways of earning a living. Very fascinating professions have been developed; some people are gaining fame and fortune from “trend forecasting” (You just gotta love Dion Chang!). We even have “public protectors”, aren’t we just blessed to have Thuli Modonsela?

My personal favourite has to be the “Gold Diggers”! No, I’m not referring to the muscular and sweaty men [drools] in helmets working hard in the mine, that’s soooo ancient. The modern gold digger is young and pretty with boobs the size of a water melon and a pea sized brain.

Her gold digging strategy is simple; she finds a saggy but VERY rich boyfriend that’s undergoing a mid-life crisis at a much later stage of his life. She then manipulates him into thinking he is 16 years old again. While the poor old man enjoys the attention of being seen with a pretty young thing and forgets about his wrinkles, she goes for his finances. In return for sexual favours and maybe a kid, the old man has to finance her ridiculously extravagant ways of living. Think Khanyi Mbau and Primrose Crous.

While the rest of us have to go all the way to the stream struggling to carry our fishing gear, these girls just flutter their lashes and pout and voila! Their fish falls on their perfectly manicured hands right from the sky!



The self proclaimed "Queen of Bling", Khanyi Mbau with one of her former, Sugar Daddies, or erm "boyfriends, as she chooses to call them.



Don’t be fooled and think gold digging is not hard work though. To make it in this throat cutting industry, you have to look your best all the time and that means fake boobs, fake hair, fake lashes, fake nails and a fake personality. I guess the only way of escaping the reality of sleeping with an old wrinkled man is to remain fake. The job sure comes with some pretty cool perks though; flashy cars, designer clothes and unlimited media coverage!

I DEMAND respect for my individuality!

I demand respect for my individuality!

I am astonishingly fond of my community. Really, I love Khayelitsha with all my heart; it’s my home. However, despite having spent the entire 23 years of my life there, I still feel odd, almost like I do not belong there. My way of doing things is questioned every day. My posture is laughed at and my preferences are frowned upon. Basically I am not accepted nor am I respected.

Quite frankly, I am not bothered by the acceptance part. However the lack of respect for my choices in this community really makes my blood boil. I speak on behalf of my brothers and sisters who love on the same sex, my friends living with albinism and my neighbours from other African countries. I even stand for our Rastafarian populace and all the other groups that are regarded as minor because they do not roll with the societal norms.  

We are tired of having to explain ourselves and what we stand for. I say “we” because I know with utmost certainty that I am not alone in this struggle, many other people from the groups I have mentioned fight a continuous battle for acceptance or at least respect. We are subject to countless unfound stereotypes that result in gay bashing, xenophobic attacks, public mockery and, in worst case scenarios, murder. All of this because we are different from the rest.

This needs to come to an end! We do not want to be celebrated; all we plead for is respect. A bit of tolerance would not hurt either. Beyond the way we look, our beliefs and our sexual orientation, there are emotions. The cruelty we face everyday does a lot of damage on our wellbeing. So before you voice your hateful remarks next time put that in consideration

What is the colour of the wind?

Most of us would consider ambition as the most important ingredient of success. Would you not agree that we all need to be ambitious in order to fulfill our dreams? Now take a minute and think about your most desired goal in life; think about all the required steps to achieve that goal.

I may not be certain what your goals are but I know for a fact that your plan of action to achieve them requires a great deal of ambition and its meant to lead to success. I don’t know the key to success but I have learnt that they key to failure is trying to please everyone.

We can all agree that we can’t succeed in isolation; like it or not, we all need the assistance of the others to reach our goals. Some people, if not a lot, will not always be pleased by you and you might be required to adjust your plan to suit their preferences. In that way your progress is most likely to be disturbed.

Trying to please everyone is like trying to identify the colour of the wind; someone will always argue against you because no one knows they right answer. What is the colour of the wind? Don’t waste your time trying to answer this, you will never be correct. The same applies to people’s perceptions of your quest to success; some one will always stand on your way.

Don’t let them!

Alert: Kasis coming to an end!

I made a discovery three weeks ago. Not a very good one and it has been bothering me since. There is a possible end to townships! Are you thinking that’s an absurd claim or I have been smoking bananas? Well three out of five people born and bred in the townships are determined to be super successful, leave the township and never come back!

Wait, before you ask me about my sources, let me confess: that interesting statistic is not really derived from a comprehensive research study by some professor. It’s a little and very unofficial research exercise I conducted by myself.

No, really, three weeks ago I decided to approach five random and, may I add, young people around Khayelitsha and asked them two simple questions: 1. “Do you aspire to be supper successful?”, 2. “When this aspiration becomes reality, do you plan to leave Khayelitsha and never come back?”

I got three very certain yeses for both questions and two “uhmm, Nos” for the second one. Now what does this tell us? In a couple of years to come about 80% our population will be making it big in the suburbs and we will be left with a very skeptical 20 %. Depending on how you look a this, it can be both a good and a bad thing.

I personally think it’s a serious problem. If we get huge chunks of skilled and talented youth leaving our community, who’s going to look after it? Who will nurture young talent and ensure that social development is progressing? And for very obvious reasons, don’t even think about the government, that poor lot clearly has a lot going on at the same time.

This issue has been giving me headaches for the past three weeks. You see, I’m very big on cultivating skills back. An overly obvious reason for the youth to leave and never come back would be the current state that our townships are in. That is crime, lack of ambition and perhaps lack of life sustaining resources. But if not us, who will put an end to this? Think about it.

If I were the boss...

If I were the boss, I would only allow skinny people to wear skinny jeans

If I were the boss, I would make it illegal for dark skinned women to wear a purple eye shadow.

If I were the boss, I would ban people from wearing sun glasses indoors and when it’s overcast.

If I were the boss, I would make it compulsory for balding men to shave off their hair. The same rule would go for bearded women.

If I were the boss, I would prohibit anyone with a questionable weave to enter public places.

If I were the boss, I would ensure that all the potbellied men have a gym membership.

If I were the boss, I would forbid any black person to colour their hair blonde.

If I were the boss, I would not allow any one older that 40 in night clubs.

If I were the boss, I would make sure that all of the above rules are strictly enforced!